Surviving Parenthood

by Kirk Kraft

Kirk Kraft of Marysville is married and the father of four children, all under 8 years old, in whom he takes great delight. He believes parenting is a journey filled with joyous peaks and difficult valleys, but it is also the greatest privilege in the world. He can be reached at kraftka@verizon.net.

When you tell your children you are going to do something, do you actually come through? Following through with what we say can have a tremendous impact on our kids. Do your kids trust you to do what you say? Or do they ask, fully expecting you will tell them "not right now" again?

Time with our loved ones should be treated as a precious commodity. Our children will not always be so close at hand. Time spent enjoying each other's company can be an essential part of a healthy relationship with them. On top of preparing them for adulthood, teaching them to trust you at your word is one of the most important life lessons you can bestow. We can't very well teach them to trust others, or each other, if we don't first model it. Trust comes in many forms, but one of the biggest ways to teach a child is to do what you say you will.

It's been a difficult lesson for me, but you just can't put your kids off. Sure, there are certain times you are in the middle of something that demands you return to their request later. At these times it is good practice to let your children know why you aren't going to play with them this second, or why you can't read with them before nap time. This demonstrates you do care and are listening to them. The important thing is to keep trust active. If your kids believe you will come back and do what you said later in the day, a bond of trust has been established. They won't think you forgot, or keep peppering you with requests throughout the time you are busy with something else.

But you have to come through. There is no trust if you put them off and never revisit what they said. My family believes strongly in fulfilling promises. Taking the time to step away from what you're doing and love on your kids will foster a lifetime of love and an unbreakable chain of commitment. Your word truly is your bond.