Surviving Parenthood

by Kirk Kraft

Kirk Kraft of Marysville is married and the father of four children, all under 8 years old, in whom he takes great delight. He believes parenting is a journey filled with joyous peaks and difficult valleys, but it is also the greatest privilege in the world. He can be reached at kraftka@verizon.net.

As parents, we seek to be good examples to our children. While the world around them may show them many things they shouldn't do, we desire to instill within them only good. So how do we address the selfishness that lurks in all of us?

The world our kids will grow up in has become more and more consumed by materialism. This materialistic worldview fosters an attitude of selfishness that everything is about 'me.' If I want something, I will get it no matter the impact it may have on others. As long as I am happy, all is right with the world. Instant gratification is the name of the game.

Selfishness can be very destructive, but breaking from it can be painful. As parents we seek the best for our children's lives. We want to equip them with knowledge, love and a moral compass so they are able to make good decisions as they grow into adults. We can do this in a few ways.

First, as they begin school and interact more with children and adults outside the home, they will begin to see the world does not revolve around them and their wishes. Classmates will not always agree with them and teachers will not coddle them. This is not to say parents let their children get away with everything, but simply to note that moving from a life lived exclusively at home to the realities of the outside world offers challenges.

Second, we can foster an attitude of giving within our children. Much of this will come about from their daily observations of mom and dad. We can also show them by sharing experiences with them, whether making Christmas cards for shut-ins or wrapping and delivering toys to give away to children who have little. This point cannot be overstated. When children see the world is larger than their own home, their eyes are opened and they can accomplish wonderful things.

Lastly, continually instruct your child about thinking of others first. This can be something as simple as your son opening the door for his sister or letting her climb into the van first. It includes always saying 'please' and 'thank you'. It can mean offering that tempting last cookie to someone else.

By instructing our children and giving them solid examples of selflessness, we not only prepare them for the rest of their lives, we instill in them a grateful heart for the life they have. Strive to lead a life of selflessness yourself and your children will follow.