Surviving Parenthood

by Kirk Kraft

Kirk Kraft of Marysville is married and the father of four children, all under 8 years old, in whom he takes great delight. He believes parenting is a journey filled with joyous peaks and difficult valleys, but it is also the greatest privilege in the world. He can be reached at kraftka@verizon.net.

Words are powerful. We use them to communicate and relay a myriad of information. Words convey emotions such as happiness, anger and sadness. While body language can express so much of what someone is thinking, words have infinitely more impact on our lives and on those with whom we interact.

This is no more evident than when we verbally interact with our children. From a simple "I love you" to a shout of "Stop that fighting!," words carry tremendous weight--often times more than we intended.

Tone is crucial when speaking to a child. It can make very little difference what you say; it's all about how you say it. Something as seemingly innocuous as "Jimmy, come here" can take on an entirely different meaning for a child when spoken with an angry tone. Am I in trouble? Is dad mad at me? These are just a couple of thoughts that could run through that child's mind.

No one said parenting was an easy assignment. We need to daily take stock of how we are acting and reacting when talking to our kids. Sometimes we need to do this by the hour!

Patience is indeed a virtue and one that parents must make a concerted effort to live out daily with their kids. We are the adults and we have to be the ones to take responsibility for how we respond to a child. I love my children and want nothing but the best for them. At the same time I want to be their role model and do my best to prepare them for adulthood. If a child only observes irritation in our voice or yelling and displeasure from us, what does that teach them?

I remember reading a study a few years ago that said for every negative remark, you would need seven positive ones to erase the impact of the callous one. If we were all aware of the detrimental effects of speaking negatively, wouldn't we make every effort to speak to our kids always in love and with grace?

The time you take today to praise your child will be rewarded tomorrow by how they treat others. It will also manifest itself through every relationship in your life, as you choose to speak life to those around you.

Kirk Kraft is married and the father of four children, all under 8 years old, in whom he takes great delight. He can be reached at kraftka@verizon.net.